Hello, it’s Winksfairy 12! What did you DayDream of today?
As you may have read from my previous posts, “Our Times – My Youth” and it’s sequel “My Youth,” this is a second sequel to “Our Times – My Youth.” (I strongly recommend you read the first two posts before this one for a better understanding.)
In “My Youth, Part 2” I would like to redirect audience’s attention from “Xu Tai-Yu” to “Ouyang Fei-Fan.”
I mentioned that I had a friend that we refer to as “my Xu Tai-Yu.” And based on the story of Our Times, without “Ouyang Fei-Fan” there would not have been “Xu Tai-Yu.” Therefore, this story is about “my Ouyang Fei-Fan.”
I want to quietly (shout out to) my Ouyang Fei-Fan: “Thank you for the happy memories. I wrote you a letter. You may never ever read it, but if you so happens to come across this post, PLEASE STOP! Please do not walk away without finish reading the whole thing!”
This letter is not a Love Letter, rather, it is a Reminisce Letter, remembering and referring back to the Old Times…
Dear My Ouyang Fei-Fan,
How are you? (I actually have no idea how to start off. Even writing your name made my heart skip-a-beat. But I think I should always start my letters with a greeting.)
When I said my heart “skipped-a-beat” it does not mean I’m still in love with you. It meant that I am nervous (yet excited) to talk to you. I know that summer, nothing happened. We were just classmates who became friends.
But you definitely knew something was up when I kept talking to you on AIM after classes, and as much as I could on the weekends.
I still remembered when you first tried to add me to an AIM Group Chat. (Well, I finally figured it out, after that summer. I guess, at the time, it was not meant to be.) I guess that group chat situation was the first hint you gave me that you knew I was interested in you.
I still remember that friend you introduced to me. The first things she talked to me about was whether “I liked you or not.” (I kept messaging you, but you insisted I keep talking to her. I guess you were trying to know how i felt through her?)
Despite your friend having to ask me multiple times, the first time was enough to kill me. As those words first appeared on the screen unexpectedly, my heart fluttered. “You know the saying when people say their hearts are about to burst from it beating so fast.”
I am sorry that I denied my feelings. My first reaction was to say “Yes. OH MY GOD, YES!” But I got scared, and ended up saying “no.”
Although your friend was persistent, and reassured me that I could trust her and she wouldn’t tell you. I still couldn’t give in. Because in the back of my mind, I planned to tell you myself (at the end of the summer).
Then one unexpected day, you decided to ask me yourself. “[Winksfairy12], do you like me?” This event blew my mind. If only you could have seen my reaction on the other side of the computer screen! (“If someone told me that the world was going to end that next second, I would’ve been okay with it because I was too shocked by your question.”)
Time Froze. I was filled with happiness and excitement. “I couldn’t hide the smile on my face.” (I guess we were at a disadvantage by technology, at the time, because Skype was not introduced yet, and Webcam Chatting was just starting to become popular. “You never got to see my expression to your question, and I never got to know how you really felt when you were asking me that question.”
“Why did you ask me that question?” What did you want to know?
(I am asking this question when honestly, I knew the answer, already.) It was definitely because I was being very persistent in talking to you on AIM and siting next to/close to you in classes we shared.
But for the actual truth, I’ll never know why. I can only write it in this letter. (If we ever meet again in the future, I am going to give you this Letter. I will be carrying it around with me because I will never know if I might bump into you tomorrow.)
Thank you for everything that summer. I really cherish those memories; not only between you and I but also with our group of friends. Thank you.
For this Letter, you can listen to the Our Times sub theme-song “All About Him by Popu Lady. At the same time, I recommend listening to Getsunova’s song, คำถามซึ่งไร้คนตอบ (the original and the Ugly Duckling Series version).
Depending on how you perceive this letter, a sad story or a happy story, the 2 different songs can influence your feelings. (Please feel free to leave a comment on your opinions and insights.)
Anyways, this is a follow up post to the post, Our Times – My Youth. But instead of having a “Xu Tai-Yu,” we are looking at our “Ouyang Fei-Fan.” I believe our fellow readers, guys or girls, will have these two characters in your life. One is the best friend who stood by your side through the good and bad. The other one is the friend that you love with all your heart, but is not the one for you.
Through this Letter, I hope “my Ouyang Fei-Fan” knows that “Yes, I like you.” But I also know and knew from the beginning that we would never end up together. Just like “Lin Chen-Hsin” in the movie, she only wanted to let “Ouyang Fei-Fan” know her feelings and that she will always be his #1 Fan. She never expected a relationship, just a friendship.
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this one as much as its predecessors.
Always Keep on DayDreaming! ❤