, , ,

“If I had a Boyfriend who hurt me, can we still get back together?”

Hello, this is Winks 😉 I am wrapping up the ending of Shelley and Edwin’s story in this post. To be honest, I am surprised by the ending. But this story has taught me a lot on how to deal with and control my emotions.

And I would like to Thank you for Reading and Enjoying “If I had a Boyfriend…Cheating (Part I)” and “If I had a Boyfriend… Cheating Part II: How are You?” which led you to this segment of “If I had a Boyfriend Series!”

In the last segment of “If I had a Boyfriend…Cheating Part II: How are You?,” we heard about the Edwin’s side of the story of his Relationship. However, in this segment, we will learn about what ultimately happened to Edwin and Shelley.

Through this segment of “If I had a Boyfriend Series,” I hope my readers can try to understand those people who get back with a cheating partner.

I hope you guys will enjoy this last part of the story!

Please feel free to leave a comment with your insights! I look forward to it!

We are often taught that once someone cheats in a relationship, there is no second chance. Why? Because the cheater has committed an act that is shamed upon in society, and this act is hard to accept since Betrayal pierces through our hearts and leaves a wound that would never fully heal. This wound will leave a scar that will forever be there to remind us of what happened.

“Over time, the wound will physically heal. But the scar leaves an emotional impact.”-Winks

This may be a reason why some people get tattoos. Tattoos may appear as something negative in society, but to the person with the tattoo, it is meaningful. This tattoo is a symbol that they want to engrave in themselves to always remind themselves. Reminding themselves about a loved-one, an unfortunate incident, a blissfully moment, etc.

“A tattoo can physically represent that love scar in your heart that is emotional.”

Two people can fall in love, then fall out of love, and then fall in love again. The heart is a mysterious organ like the brain, but more emotional.

People often say that women are made of tears, the emotional type. Shelley is an emotional girl who follows her heart. People would then say men are made of steel, the physical type. Edwin may be more logical and consider with his actions before his heart.

These two people who seem total opposites of each other, can they be happy together? Opposites attract, but wouldn’t we get along with someone who shares a similar opinion and value?

And this story goes….

During the time period that Shelley and Edwin was apart, they both come to learn something. They learned that they did not like the situation they were in now, and really missed how it use to be.

Shelley has learned that she needed to change her attitude. Not everything will go as she pleases. There will be things she will have control over, while some things she will just have to accept happens. She realized that during her relationship with Edwin, they did have happy times. Within all the happy times, she noticed herself. She discovered her needy side, her controlling side, her jealous side. There were so many sides of her that she showed to Edwin. And he accepted them all even when she got unreasonable. But she often overlooked him.

Shelley did not realize how unhappy Edwin became during their last few dates leading to the break-up. Even up to the last argument, Shelley did not realize how serious their problem was. All along, Shelley thought Edwin broke up with her because of another girl. But in truth, Edwin broke up with her because of his girl [her]. He was gasping for air in the tears Shelley flooded him with.

Shelley changed. She did not change for just him, she changed for herself. She learns that when you love someone, you also have to contribute and make sacrifices. A relationship is between two people. Once one person stops giving because he has already given his all, then the other person stops receiving. He has given everything, yet he has not received anything back. She has taken everything, but she expected more [and did not think about giving something back].

Edwin thought moving onto a new relationship would help him. He thought that he had finally found someone that was perfect for him. He was intrigued by the new her [new girlfriend A.K.A. Third-Party], for the old her [Shelley] had left him with tears and anger. He left his old relationship hoping to find a true relationship, with a girl that would care for him, and not only take from him.

But we all know that appearance is often a coax. Someone may appear nice and friendly but is cold and cunning on the inside. Someone who appears cold and serious may actually be someone who is warm and loving. Bottom line, we do not know what the eye can’t see [until we have spent time with the person to get to know them].

In the situation with Edwin, he began dating a girl who did not turn out to be who he thought she was. Over time, in a relationship, we begin to reveal more and more of ourselves to each other. Even with relationships among best friends, there will always be something that you did not know or something that you will discover. Whether this something be good or bad, it is a matter of if you can accept it or not.

Edwin begins to think back on how great Shelley was, even though she became controlling. But during the times when she was not obsessive and demanding, she was sweet and caring. He learns that Shelley was insecure, that is why she clung on so close to him. He did not give her enough confidence to soften those insecurities. He realized he needed to change too. He needed to let Shelley know that even though he may hangout with other female friends, only she is the one he loves and care for, the most.

Shelley never gave up on Edwin. He never left her heart. She still thinks about him, and never thought about anyone else but him. But she learned through this period of separation that she needed to trust him more. She needs to allow him to be with his friends, regardless of gender. Because at the end of the day, she is still the one who means the most to him. If their relationship is so strong that it only takes the idea of having one person step in between them to hurt them, then their relationship is not strong enough.

“A sturdy relationship is like the roots of a tree. It is planted deep into the ground, but can still support growth that is forever reaching for the stars.” -Winksfairy12

“If I had a Boyfriend…I think I will forgive him. In this situation, we both had insecurities and doubts. But sometimes things do not go as we expect them to. I may miss him and realize that I had wrongs in the situation too. However, an apologize may not fix everything. I can forgive him, but will he forgive me? He may not want me back. He may not want us to go back to how we use to.”

I guess people were right when they say “If you really love her, you would let her go.” You would let her go hoping she would find that happiness that you didn’t give her.

  • Notice Love is not in Past Tense
    • You still Love her
  • “If you really loved her, you would let her go”
    • Love is in past tense; hence in this situation, you had stopped loving her

Can you let her go when you still love her? [Yes, you can.] But why are you letting her go? Now that you have learned your lesson, why don’t you get back together with her to show her what it really means to be loved by you? Why are you being selfish, without considering how this girl feels about you?

There are times when we should let go and move on. Not every relationship is meant to be. But sometimes you have to hold on; hold on tighter as it tries to slip away from you.

Both Edwin and Shelley had hurt each other in their relationship. Edwin’s actions made Shelley feel that he was cheating on her. Shelley’s actions were overbearing for Edwin, making him run away. Yet, at the end of the day, Edwin still had feelings for Shelley. And Shelley, she always had feelings for Edwin. But Shelley had a hard time expressing her love, correctly. These two people are drifting further and further apart because they would not communicate with each other. Both parties were playing Hide-and-Seek together, where once one person figures out the other person’s problem, a new problem is waiting for the other person to find. Edwin needs to stop ignoring Shelley’s calls, and Shelley needs to stop beating around the bush when it comes to talking to Edwin. If only they would apologize to each other, then try to start fresh.

  • Start Fresh does not mean Start New because Shelley and Edwin has already written part of a story together. They should not forget what had happened. Instead, they should remember it as a memory that helped them grow and mature together.

To be honest, there will be people rooting for Edwin and Shelley to get back together while there will be people hoping they both find new happiness. I am hoping they both find new happiness. There is a nice guy waiting out there who is willing to do anything and everything for Shelley. As for Edwin, the ideal girl he is looking for may be a close friend that he never noticed before.

Maybe it would be better if they both moved on, and walked separate paths. Maybe then, they will find true happiness. The happiness they could not hold onto, together…

“Do you know why today is the present, when tomorrow is the future, while yesterday was the past? I’ll tell you why, because we already know what happened yesterday, but we do not know what will happen tomorrow. Yet, it is today that influences tomorrow and reminisces yesterday.”   -Winksfairy12

Love is a mysterious thing. You never know when it will come; and when it decides to leave, it’s gone. Shelley and Edwin’s love never left. It was just confused. An obstacle arose in their relationship and they did not know how to deal with it. They ignored it and hoped it will disappear on its own. But just when they thought all hope was lost, they both realized the trouble. They learned to accept each other’s opinions and consider each other’s feelings. They learned how to give and how to take from each other. They learned that they are willing to go the extra mile for each other, but only each other. They grew up a little more during their period of ‘Cold War.’ Yet, as they grew, their love grew as well.

I hope fellow readers can think about their positions in their own relationships: “Am I taking too much without giving some back? Is this imbalance affecting our relationship? Am I willing to give this much? Why do I give the amount that I do?”  

This is the ending of Shelley and Edwin’s story. So, did they get back together or not? 😉

I hope this story has made you think about how you want you and your significant other communicate in your relationship. Hearing Shelley and Edwin’s story really confused my heart. I first sided strongly with Shelley, sympathizing her situation. I was so heartbroken about the thought of someone cheating on me, someone that I loved so much. But as I got deeper into the story, I began to sympathize Edwin, as well. If this was Someone that I loved and cared about who suddenly became someone that I began to dislike, to even hate. The thought of this really made me depressed. I ended up being neutral because both parties did wrong. And to be honest, in someone else’s relationship, I do not have a say in who is right or wrong.

I was naive to think that by saying a few words of encouragement would help someone who is heartbroken move on. We cannot make people move on, we can encourage them. But it is ultimately up to them to choose to let go of their feelings in hopes of finding new ones. “Letting go is the hardest part, but once you have, it will only get easier. I promise. Because I believe that everyone has that special someone out there waiting for them.”

Thank you for Reading! 🙂

And always, Keep on DayDreaming! ❤